Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek your face
Lord all I am is yours
My whole life
I place in your hands
God of Mercy
Humbled I bow down
In your presence at your throne
I called you answered
And you came to my rescue and I
I wanna be where you are
In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high
(Came To My Rescue, Hillsong)
Psalm 25:1-5, 8-10
"To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exault over me.
Indeed, non who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly trecherous.
Make me to know your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth & teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
Good & upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in what is right, & teaches the humble his way.
All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love & faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant & his testimonies.
"Take every opportunity to be an example [For Me]."
After what feels like moments, hours, days and weeks of desperately seeking and waiting...these are the words that are whispered into my soul.
Recently it feels like from every area of my life I'm being told to be unreasonable for the one who did unreasonable things.
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man". -George Bernard Shaw
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."- Gandhi
These are just a few of the words that have been spoken to me in the past week. And all of them resonate into my soul and reverberate in my mind.
"Do what you can, with what you have, wherever you are."
Isaiah 61: 1-4 [1] The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; [2] to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; [3] to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified. [4] They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations. (ESV)
I'm finding that the more questions I have about the world and changing it for Christ, and the more ardently I pursue the answers, I am left with more questions than I had when I started. There are times when I can't see how being an example for Him answers what I'm to do with my life. But it's something from my Savior. That is more precious than anything I can ever have, and in turn, will answer any question that I could ever dream of.
I want to be at a place where I can look at the world, for all of its' brokenness & imperfections and see the joy in the Lord interwoven.
It's hard to grapple with the fact that the world as I know it isn't exactly what it seems; that there are dark corners of sadness and even larger parts of joy. It's even harder learning what I am and feeling like I cannot change it in the way that I want to. Thankfully, I know the one who does, and will, and IS.
There's one more thing that keeps running through my mind:
"Now, dear Christians, some of you pray night and day to be branches of the true Vine; you pray to be made all over in the image of Christ. If so, you must be like him in giving..."Though he was rich, yet for our sakes he became poor"...Objection 1. "My money is my own." Answer: Christ might have said, "My blood is my own, my life is my own"...then where should we have been? Objection 2: "The poor are undeserving." Answer: Christ might have said, "They are wicked rebels...shall I lay down my life for these? I will give to the good angels." But no, he left the ninety-nine, and came after the lost. He gave his blood for the undeserving. Objection 3: "The poor may abuse it." Answer: Christ might have said the same; yea, with far greater truth. Christ knew that thousands would trample his blood under their feet; that most would despise it; that many would make an excuse for sinning more; yet he gave his own blood..." (Keller, 108)
I am a wicked rebel, and I am so thankful that he gave his own blood, even though I am undeserving.
When I think about this, I'm reminded of lyrics to a hymn that will always be true in my life:
I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.
I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their pow’r when Thou art nigh.
I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is vain.
I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.
I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
Oh, make me Thine indeed,
Thou blessed Son.
